Friday, March 7, 2008
Douche Bag of the Week - Take the Rage and Drive
Every morning, as I drive to work, I am forced to deal with douche bags. There are the douches who drive 18 inches behind your bumper, even if they have the option of moving into the PASSING lane and actually, you know, passing. There are the douche bags who pull up into the right turn lane and instead gun it through the intersection as soon as the light turns green, cutting you off. There are the drivers who are oblivious to everyone else and will pull out of a driveway and/or side street right in front of you regardless of how fast you are driving towards them and/or the traffic laws designed to protect their stupid asses.
To each of you I raise a finger in salute.
But, my friends, there is a driver even more odious, more repulsive, more repugnant that those previously mentioned. The douche bags who do any and all of the aforementioned driving douche moves while behind the wheel of a Prius.
I live in Chicago which, after Los Angeles County, has to be the US capitol for Prii (Rage-speak plural for Prius - feel free to use it!). They are everywhere. This very morning I was cut off by a red Prius with an Obama 08 bumper sticker driven by a paunchy, balding douche who looked a lot like Larry King's FAS cousin.
There is something that just makes me nuts about a person who will go out of their way to make a socially conscious decision, such as purchasing a "green" vehicle, and then gets behind the wheel and turn into Snidely Whiplash. Karma be damned - if I ever get the chance I will track down that Red Prius Driver and deliver a sharp punch to the back of his head - that's one change I DEFINITELY believe in!