Friday, February 22, 2008

Douche Bag of the Week - Inaugural

It's Aaaaooooooooooooowful!

I will be the first to admit that I have been watching the new American Gladiators since it's premiere - the original show (or more honestly, the cast... Laser *sigh*) has a special place in my heart. It's pretty funny how my entire childhood is now being re-packaged and marketed to my niece and nephew.

Anyway, the one thing about the new show that I can't tolerate isn't the posturing of the platinum blond primadonna, Hulk Hogan, or even the pole dancer outfits the female "athletes" are forced to wear. No, no my friends, it's even bigger than that. There is something that has me reaching for the remote immediately and changing the channel. Something so vile, so repulsive, that he is the subject of our first ever "Douche Bag of the Week" posting. WOLF.

photo courtesy of

That's right, drink it in. The awful hair, terrible eye make-up, skin the color of a rotisserie chicken. These things all contribute to why he's such a total douche, but its more than that. On the show he actually talks like he is, in fact, a wolf. Saying things to contestants like, "I'm smelling fear, I'm smelling blood and I'mo eat you!" and he howls. HE HOWLS! Here's a little taste of the rabid 'roidhead in action:

Note to Wolf: You're a grown man! I'd like to believe that he can't bear to watch the shows, out of embarrassment, but takes a stoic attitude towards his new job (after all, a paycheck IS a paycheck) but somehow I think he probably invites all his friends over and forces everyone to watch in silence. He just seems the type.

If there's any justice in the world, this wolf will be captured, rehabilitated and released into the wild far away from civilization. If only life really worked like that.

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