Quotes are all the Rage - I

In an effort to force me to update the blog every day my brother sent me a list of possible topics. The one I thought I'd begin with is our beloved wall of quotes.

Before moving to Chicago, I lived in the "guest house" at my parent's place. One of the highlights of my time in the "pebble" - so named because of it's relative cosiness - was a lerge sheet of paper Ian and I pasted over the French doors that led into the house. On this wall, over the years, we wrote funny quotes that we had heard in our favorite TV shows, movies or while out with friends and family.

The sheet is not stowed away in a bedroom closet, so I am working from memory, but I thought I would reproduce some of my favorites here for your amusement. Also, I will be posting random quotes under this headline every month so please, if you hear anything that tickles your fancy, send it my way.

Bart, you're getting vomit on my prince!

Brown sweaters are for Nancy Boys.

In the library, people have SEX in the bathrooms.

I don't date. I'm too niche.

When he tried to stick his toe in my ass, I knew it was time to get out of the hot tub.

He was five feet of crazy and three inches of nuts.

(said of a boy with large protruding ears) Look, you can see his love handles.

(said of an Indian drag queen) She's off to bend it like Beckham

Update: I just read this quote and had to share it. It's about Tyra Banks (snaps to the Go Fug Yourself Girls) - She is amazing. And crazy. She is cramazing.

Note: While I recognize that some quotes may offend, they are meant to be taken lightly and in good fun.

Girls Just Want to Have Fun!

I have loved this rendition, by Greg Laswell, of Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" since it was featured in an episode of The Hills. It always amazes me when an artists original take complete changes the tone of a song.

The video is un peu cheesy (I would have used a montage of homeless street kids) but even I can't deny that it's evocative. See what you think.

Anderson Cooper: 360° of Rage

I have had an ongoing beef for years with Dan Savage. It all springs from a series of articles he wrote during the late 90s that I found distasteful and set off a decade long debate between Liv and myself. To be honest, Liv and I have nothing but decade long debates - the most prominent being whether individuals with "new" or "old" money are ruder. Guess which side of that coin I'm on.

Anyway, the fallout continues in the Proposition 8 debacle in California and Anderson Cooper recently welcomed Dan Savage and Tony Perkins (not the actor from Psycho) to debate the pros and cons. I have to say that it is comforting to have Savage on my side. His parting shot is particularly worthy. Let us all say, Amen!

My Modeling Debut...Gah!!

As a freelance writer and, self-proclaimed international cultural attache, I have had my photo in many publications over the years. Some on contributors pages, some involving inebriated friends at random events and fundraisers, but I have recently added another notch to my belt - Dog product model.

Ok, it is actually my super star dog, Soleil, who is the star of this particular show but imagine my surprise, on viewing the results of her latest shoot on barkerandmeowsky.com to learn that I myself am featured in the photos. I just wish I had taken the time to shave... or lose 10 pounds. I do, however, take comfort in the fact that Soleil is so cute that most people won't even notice me. Fingers crossed.

ABC can suck it!

I love to watch shows online. It is embarrassing to admit, but I don't have cable. I keep meaning to get it hooked up, but with everything I love being available online, it just doesn't make much sense. That being said, I have a long standing hate on for the ABC full episode player.

It is choppy, slow and incredibly frustrating - to make matters worse, they are constantly "updating" it to make it even more cumbersome. Today I just finally had enough!

Why don't they just get it right first, and then tinker with it? I work crazy hours and often don't get to see Ugly Betty on Thursday nights, so I try to catch up on it when I can during the weekend or following week. It has gotten so frustrating that I've stopped watching altogether because the story moves so quickly from week to week.

I don't understand why it's so hard! NBC has an amazing player. For that matter, so does MTV. ABC brass, take note, when the ads you inject into the online shows are flawless, while the content skips like a broken record - you need to (to borrow a line from my favorite SNL Weekend Update Analyst), "FIX IT!"

I'll be waiting.

And the Comments Rage On

This is an email conversation between myself and my brother Ianovitch regarding my sort-of-friend and Tonight Show celebrity Ross Mathews:

Ian: poor ross <at his wits end , he is!

Paul: I am watching now. I'll let you know what I think.




Paul: Poor Ross. That is the real down-side of being a public figure. What sucks is how hard it is to prosecute cyber-harassment. The man is entitled to his opinion, but when he breaks the rules of the blog and/or sends threats to an individual there needs to a quick, precise method to intervene.

It is so sad, in this day and age, to see someone being so bold in putting their bigotry out there. I'm afraid that the passing of Prop 8 (not to mention the measures passed in Arizona and Arkansas) has made these people feel justified in their bigotry and homophobia. It's so sad to think that we've taken one step forward in terms of racism and two steps back in terms of homophobia.

This may sound weird from someone whose blog is purported to be all about Rage, but this is a space for taking the piss out of advertising and pop culture, not a place to attack anyone. And it's very tongue in cheek. Sometimes the anonymity of the internet can bring out the dark side in certain people and they say things they would never dare in real life. This to me seems cowardly. My parents always used to say, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Wise advice... maybe we should all try a little harder.

Happy Holidays from Rage-A-Holic

Everyone could use a little extra bread in their pockets, and I have an inside scoop for you. If you visit www.facebook.com/sears and become a fan, you will get a free gift card.

The number is limited, so go soon and pick up a little something for someone you love at Sears.