The Hills are Alive

This past Monday offered a very special treat - TWO BACK-TO-BACK EPISODES of the Hills. Joey B is having computer troubles so we had to take turn watching the episodes (due to the fact that my volume only works through earphones... lame) and here is the lowdown.

EPISODE 1

First of all, LC and Whitney have returned from their sojourn in Paris and Whitney has decided that it is time to leave Teen Vogue. She takes a meeting with Lisa Love (who is surprisingly supportive) and admits that she has been offered a job by People's Republic (fashion PR firm) owner Kelly Cutrone. For those of you who don't remember, Kelly is the one who harranged and/or brow beat Lauren in Season 1 when Lisa Love asked her to get two extra passes to a fashion show People's Republic was running. (On the live after show LC admitted that - though they never showed it on camera - Kelly had made her cry that night). Let's just say that this Kelly woman would bitch slap the Devil for wearing Prada. Snap.

Anyway, after a incredibly unorthodox job interview Whitney is officially given the job. Will this be the end of Whitney's awesome reaction shots during catch up sessions in the closet? Only time will tell.

Meanwhile, the Speidi drama continues. Ms Montag has returned to LA and has told Spencer he has to move out of the apartment. But, she reveals to co-worker Kimberly (this season's Elodie) that just because she asked him to move out, and despite the fact that they aren't communicating, she definitely doesn't think Spencer will be dating other people as they aren't "broken up". Insert "foreshadowing appropriate" musical cue here.

Lauren and Audrina head out on the town and end up running into Brody and his non-sexual life partner Frankie. Lauren doesn't rise to give Brody a hug and that sets off a Brodatious hissy fit that leads to his storming out while Frankie says to Lauren (re: the new girlfriend) "I know what you're upset about, but you guys love each other so..." This guy should be a marriage counselor - or maybe he is. Does anyone actually know what Frankie does? Does anyone actually work in LA? But I digress. The best thing is this awesome "tossing" motion LC makes over her right shoulder as Brody storms out. Priceless.

The episode ends with Lauren and Whitney saying their Teen Vogue goodbyes. Lauren points out that Whitney is carrying the same bag she wore to their initial interviews TWO years before. In fashion, I believe that is referred to as a faux pas. Love it!

EPISODE 2

It's Lauren's first day back at the Fashion Institute and we are watching her in computer class. The (I'm sure very nice, but not exactly fashionable) instructor is doing roll call when one name makes Lauren's eyes open to twice their normal size, "Stephanie Pratt." For anyone unfamiliar with Ms. Pratt, she is Spencer's douchy younger sister who took it upon herself earlier this season to confront Lauren and Brody at a club (which, by my calculations, she is a full three years too young to get into). This is just another indicator that the Pratts are all batshit crazy.

Lauren looks around and Stephanie is nowhere to be seen but, before our fabulous heroine can relax, in struts Stephanie and (owing to her lateness) she is forced to take the only remaining seat in the class, one work station away from Lauren. (At this point I couldn't help muttering, out loud, "Delicious!")

Meanwhile, Whitney is in New York working a fashion show in Bryant Park. This whole sideline was not very exciting, so I am not going to re-create it, other than to say that Whitney did an awesome job and she and her boss shared the most AWKWARD on-screen hug ever. Double delicious.

News of the weird classroom cohabitation is quickly disseminated (via text) to both camps - LC to Audrina and SP to Heidi. Lauren says that she hopes this won't cause any drama.

The next day Stephanie approaches Lauren before class starts and apologizes for being such an uber byatch the last time they saw each other. Lauren very gratiously accepted the apology.

The episode ends with Spencer giving Stephanie a lecture about loyalty and whining about how he can't tell her anything because he thinks she'll either repeat it to LC or Heidi. What amazes me if that this guy has managed to alienate EVERYONE in his life, and he still has the balls to attack the only person willing to take him in. But that's Spencer to a T - class all the way.

More Hills news Tuesday...