The New Days of Disco

Joey B, Ianovich and I are flying out tomorrow afternoon for the annual pilgrimage to Buffalo NY for the world's Largest Disco.

My wonderful friend Anne entertains us all every year with her rants brought on by people who come to the disco in outfits not representative of the disco era (or even of the 70s). Here's Anne's advice for all you disco lovers:

Anne`s Guide to Disco

When attending and event as large as the World`s Largest Disco one must come prepared. This guide will help the masses prepare for the event and make sure that they are not stepping on the boundaries of various era as well as not piss me off with their choice of apparel.

When beginning the journey to transcend into disconess, one must know the true meaning of disco.

Disco was a popular dance music, especially in the late 1970`s, characterized by strong repetitive bass rhythms. Discothèque comes from the French language meaning “record library”. This was then shortened to disco and used to described music, dance and fashion.

Disco Fashion

Please be aware that psychedelic miniskirts and white boots were not part of disco fashion. These are the garb worn by go-go dancers in the 60`s. Disco fashion was much more sophisticated and glamorous. If you would like to flip your hair, wear a headband and flash a peace sign at every opportunity, please choose another venue. The disco is not the place to come with your mixed up ideas of disco. When someone truly has the essence of disco thoughts of polyester suits, Kaftan dresses, flared trousers, platform shoes and catsuits should come to mind. There was also no shortage of sequins. If in doubt check out this website: http://www.fashion-era.com/1970s.htm

Disco music and moves

Signature dance moves for anyone who loves the night life and wants to boogie can take cues from the most infamous disco goer, Tony Manero. Tony Manero is the character played by John Travolta in the 1977 classic “Saturday Night Fever”. He had moves that made the ladies crazy. If you want the same effect, practice the Hustle. It`s a classic and easy to do. Take notes and dance along to Saturday Night Fever, rent it, watch it, and be it.

These tips and techniques are here to help guide you through your disco experience. Remember, it may be easy to pick up a miniskirt and a fringed vest but when you choose to be a hippie for a disco party you are not only hurting yourself, your also hurting my patience. In closing I would also like to indicate that if you show up in any Cyndi Lauper garb then you are seriously mistaken your eras and shouldn`t be there because you are most likely not old enough to consume alcohol (I’m just saying).

This is How we Roll

Ianovich is in town for the week and we are trying to make the most of the brother bonding time before we fly back to Niagara this weekend. Yes, I am flying into Buffalo airport, and out again on Sunday night when I return to Chicago.

Monday night we joined Jason Fab and our friend Matty at Sidetrack to enjoy show tunes, cocktails and good company. We had such a wonderful time and I will definitely try to go more often. I did get a free drink from one of the bartenders, so at least my foregone days of glory haven’t completely disappeared. Though, I did have to endure a very intoxicated woman who kept telling me that the bartender was “really into me.” She assured me that she was never wrong, with a knowing gleam in her eye, but then fell halfway off her stool – destroying all her credibility.

Last night we joined Joe O at Halsted Bar & Grill for some pre-volleyball food and then headed home to play our new Wii Agatha Christie Mystery game. We were super excited, and then dropped off like flies, one by one until the entire household was asleep by 9pm. To say that we can’t party like we used to was an understatement.

Tonight, an early show of Confessions of a Shop-a-holic and then dinner at Chelsea Grill. Hurray!

Ian's CRA-ZA-ZY Hair

Ian has gone on some sort of hair strike - out of boredom or general ennui, I'm not really sure. Either way, this is what his hair looks like, currently.


He informs me that he just isn't sure what to do with it so he's just letting it go. As a result, I am soliciting anyone and EVERYONE to please send me suggestions on what you think Ian should do with his 'do. Hurry... a coif is a terrible thing to waste.

Disco is all the Rage

As I do every year, I spent my birthday weekend in Buffalo NY, attending the World's Largest Disco. This year, despite a huge rise in ticket cost (it's for charity, what are you gonna do?) the event was still sold out by the first week in September.

The best part of this year's disco, is that they shifted the event hours form 8-12 to 9-1. This allowed us additional time to get ready, and take a billion pictures in the hotel before we took the shuttle to the convention center. Ianovich, though he flew in from the UK to attend, was suffering from Jet Lag and slept through the entire event.

This year sold out faster than it ever has before and, as a result, I was left without tickets for myself and Joey B. Thankfully, the fabulous Natalie Ventresca had an extra for me but I had to buy Joey B's ticket on stubhub.com - for twice the face value. The kicker is that I forgot the ticket in Chicago so I MAY have had to trade a certain amount of money PERHAPS in exchange for another ticket the day of the event with a man who could POSSIBLY be considered a scalper. If I had done such a thing, I may have felt doubly stupid because the man might have charged me only half of what the aforementioned website charged.

The night was, as always, incredibly fun and the fast bar service and additional washrooms just added to the really positive vibe. This year's guests were four of the Brady children; Greg, Peter, Bobby and Cindy, respectively. They taught everyone how to do a dance from their variety show days. There was also a group of Village People who led everyone from the stage when they played YMCA - the cowboy was DREAMY.

The only (mild) downer for me was around midnight, they showed a slide show presentation showing the children of who attend Camp Good Days (the chosen cancer charity for this year's event) set to a very sad song. Suddenly, all these people around us were crying.

My friend Anne, whose personal pet peeve, is people who dress from the wrong era at themed events, ranted every time she saw a girl in gogo boots. As a result of these hilarious tirades, I offered Anne a chance to guest blog and very soon you will all learn the error of your ways - not that any Rage Reader would ever dress inappropriately!

Due to the crazy snow storm yesterday here in Chicago, I have not been able to upload my photos from the event, but here are some shots by Chris Brown. I Hope everyone had an amazing Thanksgiving weekend.

In the Velvet

Joey B and I caught a matinee of "Wicked" yesterday at the Ford Center for the Performing Arts in downtown Chicago. I have seen the show a couple of times before but, as always, was blown away by the unique take and new life that every subsequent cast brings. Joey B had never seen the show and was impressed by the score, the superb acting and the wonderful set.

As I have mentioned before, I attended a Performing Arts high school and had the distinct honor of staging our high school productions in the World Famous Shaw Festival's Royal George Theatre. I have loved the stage for as long as I can remember but, due to stage fright that I developed about 8 years ago, I have not been on one in some time.

Last night, following the show the cast entreated the audience to provide donation to Broadway Cares: Equity Fights AIDS by dropping whatever one could spare into the silver buckets being held by cast members in the lobby. They also mentioned that there was a raffle (at $20 a ticket) to win a chance to perform for one night along with the cast on stage. The odds are 1 in 500 - cross your fingers.

Theater for me has always elicited a very visceral reaction. I have, many times, found myself welling up as the lights dim and the orchestra strikes up the few opening bars. Yesterday was no exception. As a caveat, I should mention that my house warming/birthday party was this past Saturday night and I have been known for years to cry easily when suffering from the "Booze Blues". But in the theater, this is never the real reason.

In the fall of 2003 my Mother purchased tickets for myself, my younger brother Ian, my older brother Andrew and his wife Sheelagh to see an evening performance of "The Lion King" in Toronto on a Wednesday night. I was working at a job that I didn't really enjoy and was very, very resistant to working an entire day and then driving, in rush hour traffic, all the way to Toronto for a show. I was short tempered, irritable and (in case you haven't already guessed) not much fun to be around for the drive up.

When we arrived I kept up a steady stream of comments about the parking lot attendant, pedi-cabs, our fellow theater-goers and a number of other topics - I am amazed that my brother didn't see fit to drown me in the nearest puddle as we walked along King Street to the theatre.

We settled into our (very nice) seats and I was obstinately prepared to thoroughly detest the show (being a purist, I thought that no good could come of a musical based on a cartoon). Then the lights went down and actors, in the wonderful costumes created by Julie Tamour, began to pour through the audience toward the stage and I was overwhelmed with emotion - tears pouring down my cheeks. I was suddenly so happy. I was exactly where I should have been on that dark, damp October night. I was in the velvet and everything was right with the world.

Quotes are all the Rage - I

In an effort to force me to update the blog every day my brother sent me a list of possible topics. The one I thought I'd begin with is our beloved wall of quotes.

Before moving to Chicago, I lived in the "guest house" at my parent's place. One of the highlights of my time in the "pebble" - so named because of it's relative cosiness - was a lerge sheet of paper Ian and I pasted over the French doors that led into the house. On this wall, over the years, we wrote funny quotes that we had heard in our favorite TV shows, movies or while out with friends and family.

The sheet is not stowed away in a bedroom closet, so I am working from memory, but I thought I would reproduce some of my favorites here for your amusement. Also, I will be posting random quotes under this headline every month so please, if you hear anything that tickles your fancy, send it my way.

Bart, you're getting vomit on my prince!

Brown sweaters are for Nancy Boys.

In the library, people have SEX in the bathrooms.

I don't date. I'm too niche.

When he tried to stick his toe in my ass, I knew it was time to get out of the hot tub.

He was five feet of crazy and three inches of nuts.

(said of a boy with large protruding ears) Look, you can see his love handles.

(said of an Indian drag queen) She's off to bend it like Beckham

Update: I just read this quote and had to share it. It's about Tyra Banks (snaps to the Go Fug Yourself Girls) - She is amazing. And crazy. She is cramazing.

Note: While I recognize that some quotes may offend, they are meant to be taken lightly and in good fun.

And the Comments Rage On

This is an email conversation between myself and my brother Ianovitch regarding my sort-of-friend and Tonight Show celebrity Ross Mathews:

Ian: poor ross <at his wits end , he is!

Paul: I am watching now. I'll let you know what I think.




Paul: Poor Ross. That is the real down-side of being a public figure. What sucks is how hard it is to prosecute cyber-harassment. The man is entitled to his opinion, but when he breaks the rules of the blog and/or sends threats to an individual there needs to a quick, precise method to intervene.

It is so sad, in this day and age, to see someone being so bold in putting their bigotry out there. I'm afraid that the passing of Prop 8 (not to mention the measures passed in Arizona and Arkansas) has made these people feel justified in their bigotry and homophobia. It's so sad to think that we've taken one step forward in terms of racism and two steps back in terms of homophobia.

This may sound weird from someone whose blog is purported to be all about Rage, but this is a space for taking the piss out of advertising and pop culture, not a place to attack anyone. And it's very tongue in cheek. Sometimes the anonymity of the internet can bring out the dark side in certain people and they say things they would never dare in real life. This to me seems cowardly. My parents always used to say, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Wise advice... maybe we should all try a little harder.

Reader Rage

I have just gotten a "Trans-Atlantic Smack Down" from my brother about the infrequency of my postings. I plead no contest because, despite the fact that I just moved into a new place, and am working long, long hours, it's not as though I never have time to jot down a few lines.

I am trying to find a way to work the blogging into my daily life, and Joey B and I came up with a greatly monthly column idea over the weekend... but more on that later.

Stay tuned for a posting later on today about someone who helped to inspire me. It's a posting I've been working on for a while. To Ianovich, and all readers, I apologize for my wayward ways. I assure you that I will do my best to post a little something every day. Remember, rage is always a click away.

The Great Gorge Adventure

The Niagara Gorge is one of the most beautiful, and over-looked, aspects of the Niagara region. The gorge was created by the progress of Niagara falls as it literally cut this huge canyon out of stone at a very rapid pace (geologically speaking). Each step downstream takes you 100 years into the past.

As I mention briefly in the clips below, I spent a lot of time in the gorge as an adolescent. We used to camp on the shore of the Niagara Whirlpool. These wilderness adventures had less to do with taking in the vista and more to do with under-age drinking and carrying on. C'est la vie.

I tried to cut these scenes into a more comprehensive film but the resulting epic was too large to post onto Youtube. As a result I have picked the best clips and have pasted them below.

Before we get started, let me address the soon to be obvious elephant in the gorge (as it were) - my hair. Please forgive me if I decline to discuss how my hair became that shocking Blorange color, and merely reassure you that it was fixed shortly thereafter. Done and done. Enjoy!

Zen in Niagara

The first thing I do, whenever I return home to Niagara, is take a long bath. This serves to wash the plane smell off of me and there's nothing quite as satisfying as sinking into a hot, steaming tub. Even in July.

The next thing I do, most of the year, is head out to sit by the pond next to the patio in my parents' backyard. There is something about the lilies, goldfish and birds chirping that re-energizes me. I love it. Here is a quick film I made of the many, many frogs hanging out in the pond (there are actually many more in the movie than I even realized while filming) and then a quick interaction with nature Ian and I had in Niagara Falls later on in the afternoon. Enjoy!

Girl's Nght Out!

Ian just tipped me off to a fabulous young Comediane (does anyone still use that word?) named Etta Devine. She looks like a girl who appeared in "Can't Hardly Wait" (the one who sits down next to Lauren Ambrose and starts chatting with her - but only to settle a bet), but according to IMDB she didn't appear in her first film until 2007. I tried a google search and couldn't find a biography, but I did find an online resume that mentioned (among other theater attributes) that she's appeared with the Groundlings, which has spawned some of my favorite improvisational actors.

Anyway, check out this short film, "Girl's Night Out" and I'll see if we can schedule an interview in the near future - I think this one is going places... besides the grocery store.

My Brother Lies Over The Ocean

So, as most everyone knows, my brother Ian is living in the UK for 2 years and I miss him terribly. The fact that I have been in Chicago for over three has kind of helped because I wasn't used to seeing him all the time (though I do get home to visit every other month and we would hang out then) . Here's a picture of him, holding Soleil, from our (mine and Joey B's) "Hats & Moustaches" party this past August:













We keep in touch, mostly via trans-Atlantic text messages like these (syntax intact):

Ian UK Mobile: Matthew, is mean. Call and yell at him.

rage-a-holic: seriously?

Ian UK Mobile: No. Just teasin. Matthew is nice.

rage-a-holic: Check out my blog. I just posted my inaugural douche bag of the week post.

THREE HOURS LATER

Ian UK Mobile: Paul, how is your day going? I just got back from the pub.

TWO MINUTES LATER

Ian UK Mobile: Why do boys come over to yours and play with your toys?

rage-a-holic: Isn't it the middle of the afternoon there?

FOUR HOURS LATER

Ian UK Mobile: I just heard there was a big fire toronto. boo.

ONE DAY LATER

rage-a-holic: Did you read my blog?

Ian UK Mobile: Yes. I liked the hillary one best. Who will be your next target?

rage-a-holic: Not sure. Suggestions?

Ian UK Mobile: Nope.

YET ANOTHER DAY LATER

Ian UK Mobile: shopping is like work. So are boys

rage-a-holic: True. But when you find something that fits perfectly its worth all the hassle.

Ian UK Mobile: I don't think matthew is a fit.

rage-a-holic: Good to know. Plenty of fish in the Thames.

It's pretty amazing to think that we are able to update each other on the goings on in our lives. It's a brave new world my friends. That reminds me, I better send him a text and ask if he minds that I've reproduced our texts. Bye for now.